your calling.

Photo by Becky Stonehocker

Your calling.

Two words that have caused me a lot of stress and anxiety lately. I’ve never been one to make huge plans or be particularly ambitious—I tend to go with the flow and when an opportunity presents itself, I’ll go for it. But goal setting and making big things happen are struggles for me. I adore following creative, entrepreneurial geniuses on Instagram and it is beyond inspiring to see what they accomplish as they strive to pursue their “life callings.” Lately, it has led me to wonder what my life calling is and whether or not I’m doing what it takes to fulfill it or if I’m just floating on by and not making things happen in order to fulfill whatever my elusive life calling is.

Do you feel me?

It has been a source of inner conflict for me lately… Not feeling like I amount to much because I’m not pursuing some crazy, big, awesome, successful creative/entrepreneurial endeavor. 

Last night I was laying in bed thinking about this, unable to fall asleep. I shot out a cry to God, more or less yelling in my mind, WHAT IS MY CALLING. PLEASE TELL ME ALREADY. I’M TIRED.

I paused and this thought came to mind: 

Could it be that I’m already fulfilling my calling and I just don’t realize it?

Loving

Teaching

Creating

Sharing

Being a light

Building 

Could it be that the opportunities I’ve been given RIGHT NOW, even though seemingly small and insignificant, are part of my life calling? That I shouldn’t be waiting around for some big creative success to feel like I’m fulfilling my calling? But that in the end, all that matters is that I’m doing my best to love, serve, and spread light and goodness—no matter the scale?

The answer was a resounding yes.

God taught me last night (and I’m sure will have to repeatedly reteach me) that my “calling” isn’t some elusive thing that’s waiting for me in my future—it’s here and now, in the people and opportunities He has already given me. It’s up to me what I decide to do with them. And as the days, weeks, months, and years go by, my calling will evolve and grow with my spirit. And I will need to continue to be present, to make the most of what I have been given. 

I am enough (and so are you).

“We are not called by God to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things with extraordinary love.”  

– Jean Vanier

Photo by me