this summer.

Shot on iPhone using the Filmborn app.

This summer has been an important one for me. When I think back to last fall and early this year, I am reminded of the intense anxiety, insecurity, and lack of confidence I felt during those months. That's not to say there wasn't good during those months—there certainly was, but I felt lost. I lost sight of who I was and of my potential, or at least it was very foggy to me. 

Oh wait, life is always kind of foggy, isn't it? Never really knowing for sure what's what, or who we are, because everything is changing besides the one fact that we are children of God and He has a plan for us through His Son and His restored Church.

Everything else is up in the air, you know? 

But this summer has been important for me because I found that I can be confident in myself about certain things: 

• I can use the Metro system on my own. 
• I can navigate Washington D.C. on my own. 
• I can finish an online class in rapid-fire time. 
• I can share the gospel and be an instrument in the Lord's hands. 
• I can fulfill my calling in my ward (nursery for the win) and serve with love and the Spirit. 
• I can have a happy, fulfilling marriage. 
• I can take artful photographs. 
• I can cook decent meals. 
• I can live in a minimalistic manner.
• I can be productive on my own time. 
• I can educate myself through meaningful and insightful resources (podcasts and audio books, yes please). 
• I can find healing.
• I can recognize beauty in the world and in the people around me.
• I can live wholeheartedly.

Maybe these things seem insignificant to you, but to me, they are things I wasn't sure of a few months ago. This summer has helped me to find a certain level of confidence in myself again, and while I'm still not 100% confident, I can't help but express gratitude to my Heavenly Father for helping me to find myself as I've navigated a new city, culture, and people.

One of my favorite books as a teenager was Criss Cross, a coming-of-age novel with beautifully honest characters and writing. A certain part of it describes the main character taking the bus to a place she has never been to before, and as she navigates the new world around her, she reflects on who she is in this new place and if she is still the same person there. In the end, she returns home and finds she is still herself, but slightly different.

And that is very much how I have felt being in D.C. this summer. It has changed me. It has brought new depth and meaning to who I am. But I am still me.

The above images were shot by me on Kodak Ektar film on a Canon AE-1 and were developed and scanned by theFINDlab.