the great search.

There was a moment a few weeks ago when time seemed to stop momentarily as a shocking thought occurred to me:

I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life. 

And with my life, I mean what I want to major in -- because that might as well represent the rest of my life, right? (I kid.)  

For a while I've had the plan that I'd try to get into BYU's photo program, and if that didn't work out, I'd go with teaching of some form. But recently I've realized that I don't particularly want to do either of those things. 

I've always struggled with not knowing what to plan for, and now my options are more or less unlimited. For all I know, I could end up in some random science major (which would be comical, let me tell you). I know that I love photography and teaching, but I feel like there's something else waiting for me to find it. (Is that poetic or what?)

When I initially realized this, I panicked a little bit. Okay, a lot. I mean, I've been learning photography for the past four-ish years of my life, and now I have to find something else I'm equally interested in? Something I can dedicate my education to? Something that actually feels right? That could be anything at this point. 

After pondering things for a while, I'm happy to say that I'm actually excited to begin my search for a major. I'm taking a smattering of GE classes in the fall -- astronomy (I always mention this class first when someone asks about my fall schedule. SO PUMPED FOR IT), biology, art history, music, etc. -- and I feel like they might help point me in the right direction. 

All I know is that I'm supposed to be at BYU. Beyond that, my plan is iffy at best. And right now, I'm surprisingly okay with that.


My Pinspiration for the week: 

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Song of the Day: So obsessed with "Everyday" by Buddy Holly. The cover of it by Fiona Apple and Jon Brion is also fantabby.