time for change.
It's kinda sorta story time.
Remember this post? How I said I could tell I'm going to be changing a lot in this coming school year? Well, the change has already started taking place. And I like it. A lot.
What you don't know is that for the past several years, I've been struggling friend-wise. I've been in the same group of friends since elementary school and it has continued to grow since then. I love all of them to pieces, but to be honest, I feel like I've been dependent on them all these years -- that I couldn't start being friends with other people before first checking with them to see if it was okay; that if they didn't call me to hang out on the weekends, I must not be worth their time. And in retrospect, I'm seeing that that dependency started killing who I was.
And you know what's interesting? Towards the end of this last school year, my group of friends started to deteriorate. Of course we're all still friends, but we've started branching out a bit more. We're finally starting to allow ourselves to be friends with other people -- and, thanks to my now being an SBO, I finally feel comfortable making new, real friends -- not just acquaintances.
And guess what's happening... I'm starting to feel like my old self. Old self meaning my sixth and seventh grade self. Because you want to know how I was back then?
Confident (almost overly so).
Energetic.
Funny.
Shamelessly flirtatious.
Super friendly.
Unafraid to be in the spotlight.
It's not like I haven't been those things in the past several years... It's just that I almost felt like it wasn't my role to be those things. It was the role of my crazy friends -- to flirt with all the guys, to be the party, to make friends ridiculously easily.
And now I'm an officer. My group of friends isn't exactly "my group of friends" anymore. They're just a handful of many of my friends. And I finally feel free to be me, to be friends with whoever I want to be, to be crazy flirtatious, to be a happier person.
And it feels so good.
Remember this post? How I said I could tell I'm going to be changing a lot in this coming school year? Well, the change has already started taking place. And I like it. A lot.
What you don't know is that for the past several years, I've been struggling friend-wise. I've been in the same group of friends since elementary school and it has continued to grow since then. I love all of them to pieces, but to be honest, I feel like I've been dependent on them all these years -- that I couldn't start being friends with other people before first checking with them to see if it was okay; that if they didn't call me to hang out on the weekends, I must not be worth their time. And in retrospect, I'm seeing that that dependency started killing who I was.
And you know what's interesting? Towards the end of this last school year, my group of friends started to deteriorate. Of course we're all still friends, but we've started branching out a bit more. We're finally starting to allow ourselves to be friends with other people -- and, thanks to my now being an SBO, I finally feel comfortable making new, real friends -- not just acquaintances.
And guess what's happening... I'm starting to feel like my old self. Old self meaning my sixth and seventh grade self. Because you want to know how I was back then?
Confident (almost overly so).
Energetic.
Funny.
Shamelessly flirtatious.
Super friendly.
Unafraid to be in the spotlight.
It's not like I haven't been those things in the past several years... It's just that I almost felt like it wasn't my role to be those things. It was the role of my crazy friends -- to flirt with all the guys, to be the party, to make friends ridiculously easily.
And now I'm an officer. My group of friends isn't exactly "my group of friends" anymore. They're just a handful of many of my friends. And I finally feel free to be me, to be friends with whoever I want to be, to be crazy flirtatious, to be a happier person.
And it feels so good.
Comments
You're the best, Maryn! I love you!!
P.S. I love that picture of all of us!